guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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