it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
