Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
