This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
