plz talk dirty to me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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