I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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