So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
