and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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