my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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