Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
