i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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