im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
