I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
