I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
