Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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