I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
