the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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