if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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