He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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