This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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