dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
