He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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