Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
