so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
