we have pet lesbian snakes
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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