4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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