Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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