I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
this is an emotional support booty call
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
