I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
