There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
even my farts smell like vagina
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
