I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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