I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
worst night to have a conscience
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
