im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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