Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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