I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
