her vagine was all disorganized.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
