windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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