I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
