I'm going to jail i love you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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