they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
