yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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