hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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