we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
