I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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