Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
