UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
