And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
