Are we in a gay sports bar?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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