THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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