Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
