Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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