so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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