dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
