You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
