I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
