After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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