She said her name was "party"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
