Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
