Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
