I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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