New invention idea: vibrating tampons
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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