Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
