she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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