You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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