This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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