i jhust puked up my retainher.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
