so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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