after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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