why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize