My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize