This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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